Definition.

"I love you
but I’m not in love with you"

Translation: I don’t feel enough for you. You’re not ‘The One’.

I’ve been analysing my feelings for you or how I feel about having a relationship with you. I don’t know how to explain how I feel but I know that I don’t love you enough to want a relationship with you.

I don’t love you in ‘that’ way. I can’t love you in the way that you want to be loved or deserve to be loved.

You hear: He loves me – that’s the main thing. What is being ‘in love’ anyway? I’d rather have him this way than not at all. I know I love him and maybe if I hadn’t done X/Y/Z or been A/B/C, then maybe he would be ‘in love’.
They are questioning their feelings or already have and they know that you’re not ‘The One’. If they stick around in spite of knowing that you’re not ‘The One’, it means you’re good to pass time with.

This is an example of being ‘gently’ let down but it’s painful nonetheless and it will feel like a big blow of rejection. He may or may not mean it when he says that he loves you but the key here is to take him at his word because this is a major sign that something is wrong. Just like when someone says that they want to break up with you (and by the way, the ‘I love you but…’ line is a prelude to breaking up even if you don’t), it means that they don’t see potential in the relationship – they don’t believe in you, their feelings for you, or the relationship. They don’t want to try anymore.
When people separate out how they feel, dissect it, and go to the trouble of telling you, it’s because they want to communicate what they don’t feel.

The key here is not to fall into the trap of getting hung up on the individual meanings of the words – how much frickin’ analysing and decoding can be done in your relationship? Should you have to burn up brain and emotional energy trying to dissect what someone feels for you or looking for reasons to hang on?

If you overanalyse this statement and stay, you will spend your relationship looking for validation from them so you can stem the feeling of rejection, when in reality, you need and deserve more than him.

You will become focused on trying to get him to be ‘in love’ with you.

Remember – relationships are not about the ‘in love’ feeling however someone can love you but not want a relationship with you or be inspired to desire a future. We love our family and friends, but we’re not in love with them.

It is important not to get trapped in your feelings or project what you feel and believe that they should give it back – you may be in love, but that doesn’t create an IOU.

People who want to be in a relationship and who have both feet in, don’t burn up energy analysing and questioning their feelings for you. You may have issues but you know that you both feel ‘enough’ and then some to remain committed and work at your relationship and you put in the work with actions.
Remember – everything is contextual. If someone has gone to the trouble of saying this to you, there are other signs that all is not well in the relationship. This should be a jolt to put both of your feet in reality and not allow yourself to be cloaked in illusions.

Creditz


I just want you to understand.